How Shall We Serve?

Parashat Chayei Sarah, Genesis 23:1–25:18

David Nichol, Ruach Israel Congregation, Needham, MA

A couple weeks ago, in parashat Lech L’cha, we read that God commanded Abram (later Abraham) to leave his homeland and go—without much detail about where to go. But God did provide some motivation, or at least a clue of what is to come:

I will make of you a great nation,

And I will bless you;

I will make your name great,

And you shall be a blessing. (Gen 12:2 JPS)

What this blessing looks like, Abraham likely can’t fathom. But it seems to motivate him. He immediately obeys and (as R. Russ Resnik wrote a couple weeks back) takes great risks to follow this path.

Later, in Vayera, we learn more about what God is intending for Abraham: “For I have singled him out, that he may instruct his children and his posterity to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is just and right (tzedakah umishpat)” (18:19). Long before Jake and Elwood in the Blues Brothers, Abraham is on a mission from God.

This mission seems to be on Abraham’s mind in this week’s parasha, Chayyei Sarah, as he takes steps to find a wife for Isaac. He calls in his senior servant (identified by some commentators as the same Eliezer mentioned in chapter 17), and solemnly charges him to retrieve a wife for Isaac from his kinsfolk back in his Mesopotamian homeland. He is emphatic that Isaac should not go back there himself, and that this wife should not be from the Canaanites or nearby peoples.

These stipulations are telling (as is, perhaps, Isaac’s absence from this meeting). Why are Canaanite women out of bounds for Isaac? After all, Abraham may eventually take a Canaanite wife himself (see Ramban on 25:6)! And why not let Isaac go back to Haran, and maybe get some time with the grandparents and Uncle Laban? 

Even if we don’t know exactly what is going on in Abraham’s head here, he is clearly motivated by God’s promises. It’s not really about Isaac’s marital bliss: it’s to ensure this legacy of tzedakah umishpat, righteousness and justice; of being a great nation and a blessing to all nations. Whatever Abraham’s rationale for avoiding Canaanites, it’s clear that his actions are being filtered by their compatibility with the legacy of promise. 

I find this servant, Eliezer, particularly inspiring. He doesn’t stand to benefit the way Abraham does, yet he is committed to the vision and to the mission. His trip to find a wife for Isaac meets with spectacular success, with God’s help. Upon arriving, he asks for help, a miraculous sign . . . and it works! He is led to Rivka, a girl of exceptional character, who is even Abraham’s close relative (yes, back then this was a good thing)! 

Perhaps even more miraculous is that when Eliezer explains the situation to Rivka’s parents and brother, they agree that it is clearly God’s providence, and that she should return with him to marry Isaac. The only friction arises in the story when, after a good night’s sleep, Eliezer wants to set off right away: 

Then he and the men with him ate and drank, and they spent the night. When they arose next morning, he said, “Give me leave to go to my master.” But her brother and her mother said, “Let the maiden remain with us some ten days; then you may go.” He said to them, “Do not delay me, now that the Lord has made my errand successful. Give me leave that I may go to my master.” And they said, “Let us call the girl and ask for her reply.” They called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will.” (Gen 24:54-58 JPS)

Why does the servant insist on leaving immediately? To a modern reader this may seem like a minor disagreement, but the fact that they asked Rivka to be the tie-breaking vote indicates otherwise. After all, nobody bothered to ask her opinion on the long-distance arranged marriage. What does Eliezer’s determination to return to his master tell us?

What do you think? Would you be in such a hurry?

Here are two possibilities, and I suspect both are factors. First, Eliezer understands the gravity of Abraham’s mission, of the big story that he’s witness to. Imagine being close to greatness, but being consigned to a supporting role—like being a ballboy in the Wimbledon final. Are you the kind who chases down every ball with gusto, not letting up, executing your humble role with passion and vigor? Read this way, he embraces his (minor) role because he sees the big picture. 

Another way to understand Eliezer is as one who cares about Isaac’s future because he truly loves Abraham. He may know that this wife-hunt is of profound historical import, but it doesn’t matter. His loyalty and love drive him. He would rather see joy on Abraham’s face, see Isaac comforted after the loss of his mother, than get a few extra days partying with the Chaldeans.

So what can we learn?

At our best, we are more Eliezer than Abraham—minor characters in this drama. Certainly matchmaking may be in our wheelhouse, but so are many other things: keeping Shabbat, showing hospitality to those who are lonely, declaring God’s unity twice daily in the Shema, bearing the burden of our neighbor, visiting the sick . . . the list goes on. We also are part of this same mission. 

Honestly, as characters in this story, we are only guessing at what will happen next. We may think we see the story unfolding before our eyes: the birth of the modern state of Israel; the widespread agreement that righteousness and justice (however defined) matter; more people entering relationship with the God of Israel through Yeshua; wars and rumors of wars. But we’re kidding ourselves if we think we see the last plot twist. 

Eliezer certainly does not know how making one shidduch (match) will result in the redemption of the world; he only sees what’s in front of him. He has a simple job, and he wants to accomplish it with zerizut (alacrity, enthusiasm) and anavah (humility). He loves his master and takes joy in executing his task.

Perhaps this is why, instead of being named, he is referred to throughout the entire story as “ha’eved,” the servant. His faithful service reminds us of Yeshua, who initiated his students into this mission by taking on the role and dress of a servant (John 13).

Therefore let us serve, not by looking for the grandiose or inspiring roles, not with an expectation that we know how the future will unfold, but by accomplishing what stands before us. What stands before us? The shaliach Peter tells us:

So be self-controlled and sober-minded for prayer. Above all, keep your love for one another constant, for “love covers a multitude of sins.” Be hospitable one to another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of the many-sided grace of God. Whoever speaks, let it be as one speaking the utterances of God. Whoever serves, let it be with the strength that God supplies. So in all things may God be glorified through Messiah Yeshua—all glory and power to Him forever and ever! Amen. (1 Peter 4:7b-11 TLV)