It’s a Family Thing

Parashat Chayei Sarah, Genesis 23:1-25:18
Chaim Dauermann — Congregation Simchat Yisrael, West Haven, CT

I’m about to be a father for the first time. Our son will be born quite soon. This impending change brings a heavy feeling with it, though not a burdensome one. Sometimes I am awake late at night, with nothing but the occasional Brooklyn traffic to break the silence, and it is in such times that I can most effectively take stock of my reality.

Lately, I’ve found myself looking at life in new ways. Before, I saw my physical, mortal life as something finite that would be someday transcended, but now I find myself seeing it as something I tangible that will continue beyond me in the form of a family. My wife and I will work to impart to our son the very best of what we have to offer as people, and somehow, if all goes well, in him those things will make their way in the world long after we are gone. And what we have within us to give him represents the best of what our parents and forebears were. In this way, as I invest the best of myself in my son in an effort to fulfill my duty as a father, I will also be further stepping into my role as a son.

In ruminating on these things, I’m entering a very Jewish conversation. The phrase l’dor v’dor—from generation to generation—encompasses this idea perfectly; it reflects a continuum of knowledge and experience, the passing of Jewish tradition and values down through the ages. The key mechanism in this process is family.

The parasha for the week is Chayei Sarah, which means “the life of Sarah.” It seems ironic, at first, given that the portion actually begins with Sarah’s death:

Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. Genesis 23:1–2 ESV

But in a sense “the life of Sarah” is a perfectly appropriate name for this parasha. For indeed, only a generation prior to this passage, Sarah and Abraham had looked to the future with no prospects for descendants—the end of the line when it came to Abraham’s bloodline. Yet, through God’s promise to make of Abraham a great nation (Gen 12:2) and through his miraculous intervention, Sarah would conceive a son, Isaac, when it seemed altogether impossible, and through him her descendants turned out to be many, indeed.

But how do these descendants come about? How does this great nation rise up from Abraham and Sarah, through Isaac? In Genesis 24, we read of Abraham giving instructions to his trusted servant to return to his home country to find a wife for Sarah’s son, Isaac, ensuring that not only his own family, but an entire nation would live. We often hear this servant referred to as “the faithful servant,” and Jewish tradition identifies him as Eliezer of Damascus. Eliezer rates but one mention by name in the Torah, in Genesis 15:2, but his reputation looms large in Jewish tradition. So large, in fact, that the sages identity Eliezer along with the likes of Elijah as one of eight people who they say ascended to heaven without dying (Derech Eretz Zuta 1:18).

In sending out Eliezer to seek a wife for Isaac, Abraham connects the task with the covenant God made with him: “To your offspring I will give this land” (Gen 24:7). He knows that the land promise that God made cannot come to pass unless he has descendants beyond Isaac. As he invokes God’s covenant, he tells Eliezer that the angel of the Lord will go ahead of him, and help identify the right woman to be Isaac’s wife.

That brings us to this question: What is it that made Eliezer “faithful” in the eyes of tradition? Surely, he had walked with Abraham long enough to know that God could do whatever he purposed to do. Scripture records that he prayed to God upon arriving at his destination, and that he offered up a prayer of thanks upon finding Rebekah. As he trusted in God’s power, however, Eliezer did not rest on his laurels, waiting for the angel of the Lord to do the work for him. Rather, he went about his search thoughtfully and actively. Upon meeting Rebekah, he gave gifts to her and her family. He was prepared for the task, and dealt with it with deliberate care.

The Brit Chadashah has quite a bit to say on the subject of Abraham’s offspring, and on faithfulness. In chapter 3 of both Luke and Matthew, we read of Yochanan the Immerser admonishing the Pharisees and Sadducees for presuming that because they are Abraham’s offspring, they can enjoy the benefits of his immersion without repentance. He tells them, “God is able from these stones to raise up children for Abraham” (Matt 3:9 ESV). That is not to say that this is what God would do, but what God could do if he couldn’t count on participation. Here, Yochanan calls the Pharisees and Sadducees, and us as well, to a high standard.

So, what does it mean to be a child of Abraham? What conduct is befitting of one who would call Abraham “father?” Paul speaks to this quite a bit in his writings, and with a particular eloquence in his letter to the Romans, in which he paints a detailed portrait of the sort of life we are called to as followers of Messiah. On the topic of being children of Abraham, Paul writes:

That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all. . . . No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” Romans 4:16, 20–22 ESV

But what does it look like to share the faith of Abraham, as Paul describes here? Chapters 12-14 of Romans are largely dedicated to explaining what a life of faith entails. Following this section, Paul looks to Yeshua as the greatest example of this faithfulness:

Therefore accept one another just as Messiah also accepted you, to the glory of God. For I declare that Messiah has become a servant to the circumcised for the sake of God’s truth, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarchs and for the Gentiles to glorify God for his mercy. Romans 15:7-9a TLV

During my late nights, when I quietly contemplate my unborn son’s upbringing, my thoughts are in no way anxious, but are happy ones. As I think on the exchange of responsibilities and experiences that my son, my wife, and I will have with one another, and with generations past and future, I settle into the same conclusions that I am coming to here about this week’s parasha. It is by living faithfully, and teaching others to do the same, that we, like Eliezer, make the way for Abraham’s offspring. It is by trusting in God’s power, and by living in subjection to that power, that we ensure that the life of Sarah can continue, from generation to generation.