The Virtue of Transparency

Photo: The Times of Israel

Parashat Mattot-Masei, Numbers 30:1–36:13

Matthew Absolon, Beth Tfilah, Hollywood, FL

Any vow and any binding oath to afflict herself, her husband may establish, or her husband may make void. . . . But if he makes them null and void after he has heard of them, then he shall bear her iniquity. (Numbers 30:13, 15)

One of the more common critiques leveled against the Bible is that it does not fairly adjudicate in the battle of the sexes. A casual reading of this week's portion might incite the reader to such a conclusion. When we remove the lens of 21st century modernity, however, we begin to see several key Jewish principles that govern familial and authoritative relationships. Indeed, the nature of our Father in heaven is illuminated for our benefit.

In Numbers 30 we see several important guiderails that mark the importance of personal responsibility, transparency, and respect for authority within the Jewish home. God outlines for Moses the responsibility of the father and, in the case of marriage, the responsibility of the husband, to affirm or nullify vows made to the Lord, specifically, vows made by a daughter or a wife. At the close of the chapter, we catch an insight as to why God places this authority on the father of the home. It is because God holds the father responsible for the spiritual deeds and misdeeds of his household.

Rambam in his commentary on Numbers 30:15 says the following:

It would appear that this woman [broke her vow] in error or was misled, for Scripture speaks [here] of a husband who heard [his wife’s vow and did not annul it on that day], and the wife does not know about this, and after some time he “annulled” [the vow, although he in fact no longer had the power to do so], and told her that [he annulled it] in the day he heard it. Thus Scripture teaches us two things: that the husband bears her iniquity as if he had made a vow and profaned his word, and that she is totally free and not liable to any of the punishments [found elsewhere] for errors. . .Scripture speaks of normal circumstances, that a father usually guards himself against doing this because of his love for his daughter, whereas a husband might perhaps hate his wife and think that he will make her guilty [by misleading her to break her vow].

In short, there is an underlying godly virtue at play between the father and the daughter, and the husband and the wife. That virtue is respect of spiritual agency through integrity and mutual transparency. Unlike the pagan nations who treated their women as property and therefore without spiritual agency, the Torah elevates our women to a place of personal spiritual agency before the Lord. Even more so, it lays the burden upon the father and husband to honestly and righteously cultivate the spiritual agency of our daughters and wives. It requires the men to be hands-on.

Building upon that theme, it becomes clear that mutual transparency is a preeminent virtue inside a healthy family dynamic. The Torah presupposes the integrity of motive of our daughters and wives, while safeguarding against the possible abuses of an overbearing or ungodly head of the house. In a healthy, godly Jewish home, the father is hands-on in the spiritual life of his wife and daughters. Out of respect for that responsibility, the Torah is encouraging that there be transparency between the two parties; transparency from the daughter/wife to the father/husband out of respect for the burden of spiritual responsibility over the house; and transparency and integrity from the father/husband towards his daughter/wife out of respect to the spiritual agency that God has given them. In other words, as far as a healthy family dynamic is concerned, we’re all in this together.

In the following chapter we see an example of God exhibiting this same level of transparency towards us, his chosen bride. After the plunder of the Midianites, a tribute was taken “to the Lord” (Num 31:29) to be used in the service of the Mishkan. Not only was this tribute clearly outlined with specific percentages applied to specific assets, but also the actual quantity of tribute that was proportioned to the Lord was publicly recorded, down to the very last animal.

The question remains, what compels the God of the universe to show transparency to those he created from the dust of the earth? What lesson for posterity is to be found in this chronicle of “open book accounting”?

One answer is that God is exhibiting for us his nature so that in turn, we may embody his virtues. Regardless of one's station of authority, within the family of God transparency is always the right path towards healthy and respectful relationships. Moreover, in the same way that God spelled out the terms of transparency before us, so too we should invite and welcome terms of transparency in our positions of leadership.

In reflection, the Torah expects a hands-on approach from husbands and fathers towards the spiritual growth of our daughters and wives. This hands-on duty requires transparency and integrity of motive between the family members. Moreover, it places the burden of responsibility upon the father to nurture the spiritual agency of his daughter with love and wisdom; and to honor the spiritual agency of our wives with respect and partnership. And finally, our Father himself demonstrates for us that Godly authority can only be fully exercised within the virtues of integrity and mutual transparency, and that those in positions of authority should welcome and embrace the terms that hold them to account.